


More Than Friends

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Futurama
Genre: Crack, Jealousy, M/M, Robo-sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For this prompt: Fry is robo-sexual, but Bender isn't human-sexual, so Fry goes out with another robot, and Bender gets jealous.</p><p>for comment-fic on livejournal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Friends

"You slept with CALCULON?!?" Bender raged. "That two-bit, no-talent, lying, cheating sociopath!!!"

Fry shrugged. "Yeah."

Bender kept yelling, this time almost sobbing, "If you wanted a two-bit, no-talent, lying, cheating sociopath, you could have gone to your BEST FRIEND!!"

"Aw, Bender," Leela said, wrapping him up in a hug. She glared at Fry. "How can you be so insensitive, Fry?"

Fry looked confused. "I'm confused."

Nobody said anything.

He said, louder, "I'm more confused than usual!"

"Can't you see that Bender has feelings for you?" Leela said.

"No, I don't!" Bender said, weeping on Leela's shoulder.

"What am I supposed to do with feelings? Bender isn't human-sexual. He's the one who said no."

"That's it! I'm sleeping with the worst human I can find just to make you jealous, Fry!" Bender yelled angrily. "Where's Zapp Brannigan? Not here? I guess I'll have sex with you, Leela."

Leela slapped him, ignoring the hurt from his metal jaw.

"That was for comparing me to Zapp," Leela clarified. "I'm out of here. You two work this out on your own!" She stormed out.

There was a long awkward silence. 

Until Leela walked back in. "Bender, did you take my wallet while we were hugging?"

"No, and I'm appalled that you would accuse me in my time of woe," Bender said, handing the wallet to her.

She stormed out again.

"So..." Fry said.

"Yep," Bender said.

There was another long pause.

"I thought you didn't like me that way," Fry said.

"I don't like anybody in any way," Bender objected.

"Right. But... why are you so jealous of Calculon?"

"NEVER SAY HIS NAME AGAIN!!"

"Okay, sheesh. Not jealous at all."

"You deserve better than him, that's all," Bender said. "Someone who likes the same activities as you. Like watching Calculon on television."

"Calculon likes watching Calculon on television."

"I have other hobbies too!!! Ummm... uhhhh... did you ever get really into larceny?"

"I don't think I would call it 'into'."

"Oh. Well... do you like making fun of human inferiority?"

"Not so much."

"Umm.... you know what fine! Go sleep with a stupid celebrity. Who's stupid. And a jerk. And you're a jerk! You're all jerks!!!"

"Bender, I like hanging out with you. We'll always be friends. But you don't want a relationship with me, so what am I supposed to do?"

"Aw, geez. Can't you just hang out with me and never have sex with anyone?"

"I've tried that Bender. For _years_. It gets frustrating."

Bender pouted. "Fine. I guess if you're all into 'finding happiness' or some crap like that. But I get to approve the robots you date. Calculon's a bum!"

"Yeah, a rich, famous bum."

"Shut up! I mean, yeah, sure, whatever you want."

"Thank you, Bender. It means a lot to me. As your friend."

Bender grumbled, "But if I _were_ into filthy humans... you would be madly in love with me. And do all sorts of dirty sex stuff that you wouldn't do with the other robots, but _I_ smoothtalked you into it."

"I'm sure I would. And I was in love with you Bender. But now I need to find someone who'll love me back."

"Whatever. I don't care."

"Thank you, Bender. You're a really good friend."

"I know it! You don't have to tell me that!" Bender said and then walked away, singing a song about how Bender is the greatest friend and all the other friends in the universe can suck it.

Fry just smiled. The first part of his plan to make Bender jealous was a success.

Now he just had to ask Leela or Amy what the second part of his plan should be.


End file.
